A while back now, I went to a lunch with speakers. I was particularly keen to hear the international marketing consultant speak. As he marched through his presentation I began to wonder whether we had somehow been transported to a ‘war’ room somewhere in Afganistan – the phrases ‘We nailed the target’ – ‘exploited the opportunities’ and ‘extracted the information’ tumbled from his mouth – it was fighting talk. Luckily the phrase ‘collateral damage’ did not figure but I felt the damage had been done – I had crashed landed back in the 80’s and Gordon Gekko was circling.

We are not at war with our customers, far from it. Neither are we at war with our competitors, especially way out here in the South Pacific where one would hope companies realise their competitors aren’t their next door neighbours but companies abroad – though listening to this speaker you would believe we should be ‘nailing’ them with a skud missile or three. Warranted, we are New Zealanders, a healthy respect for our rivals along with a good dash of competitiveness is in our blood – but I think it is our collabroative and resourceful nature that gets us ahead.

You need only look at any of the social media sites to see why they are so popular – the words ‘share, like, and comment’ appear on all of them. It is human nature – in fact there is a need in all of us to grow, contribute and connect. These platforms allow us to to do all three. As individuals we want to feel good about ourselves and the world we live in – for most of us that does not include living in a war zone. The most successful companies today have dropped the fighting talk and have realised how empowering a little tlc can be. They engage, they listen and they are generous – they value people and see them as individuals, not units or targets.

People remember you for how you make them feel. Make sure they feel loved.